


Hurt Me/Heal Me

by aliceslantern



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Dom/sub, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PWP, Riding Crops, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25901932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceslantern/pseuds/aliceslantern
Summary: Zexion always used to be the dominant one in his relationship with Demyx. Now that they're human... flipping the script is an easy way for Ienzo to punish himself for everything he's done in the past. Except Demyx won't let him get away with it. BDSM.
Relationships: Demyx/Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Hurt Me/Heal Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ennarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ennarcia/gifts).



The window of their bedroom was open a crack, and the draft was cool on his skin; the air inside smelled faintly like cinnamon. Ienzo knew without looking (not that he could look right now) that there were candles on the dresser, and the way their light would soften Demyx’s face.

Why did Demyx have to make this romantic? It never had been in the days  _ before _ their humanity (at least, not this kind of act). Then again, he supposed, Zexion had always been in charge.

Ienzo pulled slightly against the restraints, wishing they were tighter. Demyx would only bind his hands and ankles, claiming inexperience. He was pinned spread-eagle like a thing to be dissected. The silk cords were too soft against his skin. He wanted twine, hard and harsh and cutting, the kind that would leave a friction burn for days. “Can you make it a bit tighter?” he asked, trying to swallow down self-consciousness. Ienzo was blindfolded, his own suggestion. He didn’t want to know what was coming.

“Are you really in a position to make demands?” Demyx purred, and despite the strange slurry of emotion inside of Ienzo his cock twitched. He felt Demyx’s callused fingers brush across his cheek. 

“I want it to hurt me.” 

“You have to earn it.”

He took a sharp breath. Hadn’t he done  _ enough _ to earn pain, through all this?

Demyx straddled him, his own hardened dick brushing against him, and Ienzo squirmed. He wasn’t doing this to feel good, he reminded himself. Demyx leaned down and kissed him, hard, and Ienzo kissed him back automatically. Too soon, though, he broke away, and felt Demyx’s breath near his ear-- “Don’t be afraid to safeword, okay?” 

Ienzo nodded once, though he had no intention of doing so. What better way to get back at his own guilt then to allow the one person he truly, effortlessly loved to cause him pain, and to enjoy it? Demyx kissed the smooth spot under his ear, gently over that scar, and began to bite at his shoulder, the gentle pain making his cock throb dangerously. That was what he’d feared--Demyx would be  _ good _ at this. But why was it surprising? He’d always been too observant, too considerate a lover. “Harder,” he forced through his teeth. “Please.”

“Why should I take orders from you?” he asked, in that same smooth voice. “You’re going to make me have to punish you.” But it was all talk; Ienzo felt more of his teeth, the bites becoming sharper against his skin, and he knew it would be leaving bruises. He craned his head up, so Demyx could get at the fragile skin of his throat, and he did, not  _ quite _ getting at the scar. The pain was more acute now, that sensation of helplessness, especially as he tugged against the restraints.  _ This _ was what he’d deserved. “Do you like that?” Demyx asked.

“Yes. Yes,” he said breathily. To his mortification, he realized he did on multiple levels, his still-untouched cock aching. A flush of chagrin shot through him. 

Demyx got off of him. The denial sent another shudder down along his skin, prickling in the cool night. Ienzo heard him rummaging for something, and he wondered what. It wasn’t like Radiant Garden, in its post-fall glory, had places where  _ props _ could be bought. This soft cord had come from the tassels on old curtains. Ienzo felt the slight give of his weight on the mattress, then the roughness of something trailing briefly down his side.

“What is that?” he asked.

“You’ll ruin the surprise,” Demyx said evenly, biting him--too gently--down along all that delicate skin, to his hip. The denial was making Ienzo shaky.  _ He was enjoying this too much. _ Ienzo squirmed against him. “Stay still.”

Ienzo felt the object laid across him, light and thin, some kind of cloth? He couldn’t quite tell, and with the blindfold he couldn’t see. Demyx kissed him along his inner thigh, so damn  _ gentle, _ and Ienzo heard himself make a small noise of frustration. 

He felt Demyx’s lips ease over his dick, and tensed. He pulled it deeper into his mouth, moving against him so  _ slowly _ , and Ienzo made this small pathetic whimpering sound, angered at his own body’s desire to just  _ come _ already. He’d always had an easier time controlling it as Zexion. Too soon, Demyx was taking it out, and a moment later Ienzo felt a small  _ smack  _ against the sensitive skin of his side with that same object, making him gasp out loud. It stung;  _ it hurt. _ He laughed a little despite himself.

Another lash, this one not quite so soft. “What’s so funny?” Demyx asked in that dangerous voice. “You’re being so  _ insolent,  _ Ienzo.”

The word made him shudder. “Call me…” He swallowed. “Call me his name.”

A fraction of a pause; Ienzo thought he heard Demyx take a startled breath, which he heard just  _ barely _ reflected when Demyx spoke next. “Zexion? Feeling nostalgic?”

“I’ve been awful. I want to be punished.” He’d never felt so dreadfully self-conscious with so-called dirty talk before.

“What  _ should _ I do to you?” He clucked his tongue. Then, Ienzo felt the pressure of the restraints on his ankles and wrists easing. Rather abruptly, he was flipped onto his stomach, the ties rebound to the head- and footboard of their bed. The blindfold dropped away from his eyes, and he just blinked in confusion until he heard, “open your mouth.”

Wordlessly, Ienzo complied. He tasted the cotton, awkward and dry, and Demyx tied the makeshift gag behind his head. Was Demyx going to take him? He revelled in the helplessness.  _ It’s what I deserve. _

In a more normal voice--too full of tenderness--Demyx said, “you remember your hand signal, right?”

He bobbed his head to show he understood. Out of the corner of his eye he saw lube being set down, felt a finger trace down along his ass before slipping inside, so disappointingly painless. He didn’t want to enjoy this, didn’t want to be hyperaware of his hardened cock against the sheets. A second finger slid inside of him, moving slowly in a sort of rhythm, and Ienzo had to stifle the moan even with the gag. 

And then suddenly he felt another lash, hard and hot on his back, the brightness of the pain only turning him on further. He heard himself make a startled noise. Demyx trailed the material down along his spine. It had to be leather, rawhide, something of that ilk; Ienzo smelled it. Demyx kept fingering him. “I’ve always wanted to have you like this,” Demyx purred.

_ Then have me, _ Ienzo thought, pressing harder against his hand. The lashes were inconstant and unpredictable, sharp and  _ beautiful _ against his skin. The pain started to eclipse the hesitant pleasure mostly because the way Demyx was touching him threatened overstimulation. Demyx yanked his fingers from him, causing him to whimper. A pause; Ienzo practically felt him thinking. 

“Do you want me to push it farther?” he asked Ienzo. “Or no?”

Ienzo cursed his consideration.  _ Just hurt me, _ he thought.  _ Just do it. _ He nodded. Demyx traced along the rising marks already left behind. 

“You really want to be punished,” he said, slipping back into the character. “Oh, Zexion, what did you  _ do _ ?”

_ What didn’t I do, _ Ienzo thought. He felt it strike him again, even harder, causing him to cry out, the noise muffled by the gag. Demyx exhaled sharply, touching the raw skin. Ienzo hoped he didn’t change his mind. Demyx kept at it, lashing him multiple times in a row, and for a moment all Ienzo felt was a strange ecstasy, the pain making his cock ache further. He couldn’t help the noises he made, somewhere between crying and moaning. It stopped too soon, his skin stinging so sweetly, and Ienzo felt the tip of Demyx’s lubed dick against him.

He took him quickly, harshly, slamming against his g-spot, and Ienzo strained against the binding. This wasn’t fair _. _ He didn’t deserve this, the tightening pit in his stomach, the overwhelming  _ need _ to finish, the world fraying at the edges. 

In the middle of this moment, another strike against him, the sound of leather against skin. Demyx was hitting him almost in  _ time _ with the thrusts, and Ienzo was trembling all over, fighting hard against the orgasm.  _ Don’t let me. Please don’t let me.  _ Why should he come? Why couldn’t Demyx just  _ hurt _ him? Why did he also have to make him feel good?

Ienzo felt as though he were slipping, no longer quite in control of himself. He’d never gotten to this point before, never. He knew he should signal now, get Demyx to stop, to finish him off before it became too much. But he kept his fists clenched tightly. The lashes bit harder, causing him to cry out each time. He heard Demyx take a sharp breath and felt him spill inside of him. “Should I…” He was breathing hard. “Should I keep going?”

Ienzo nodded.

“Are you  _ sure _ ?”

Another nod. His cock was throbbing now, the denial almost more painful than the whipping. Ienzo wasn’t going to  _ let _ it happen.

He felt Demyx pick back up, each little mark against him practically making him writhe. He wasn’t sure what felt good and what didn’t anymore, just that he knew he  _ deserved _ this pain and this helplessness, considering how he’d made so many of their victims feel. He muffled as much of the noise as possible with the gag, and against the pillow. It was oddly fiery now, and he wondered dazedly if he were bleeding or just sensitive, but it didn’t matter. 

He thought wearily of the basement cells… and all that had gone on there…

The lash snapped him out of it. Goodness forbid he accidentally start casting an illusion. Demyx didn’t  _ need _ to know what this was to him. He was on the verge of overloading, quivering all over, his body  _ demanding _ that he just let himself come, an ache he felt in his balls now. 

Ienzo realized he was crying, no longer able to keep control of his reactions. The gag was salty with tears and spit.

“Zexion?” Demyx prompted, leaning over to get a better look at his face. “I… Ienzo?” He forced his chin up. A fresh crop of tears spilled down his face. Demyx furrowed his brows for a moment, and then something like comprehension broke over him. He reached over and immediately started untying him. “Hey. Hey, Ienzo.” Pulling free the sopping gag. “Why didn’t you tell me to stop?”

“I…” His mouth felt odd. “I wanted to be… punished.”

Horror crossed his face. “You wanted me to really hurt you? But I--wh--why?”

Ienzo sobbed once. “Don’t you think I deserve it?”

“No. No. Is that…” He exhaled sharply and pressed a hand to his brow. “Is that why you asked me to call you Zexion? Is that--” He shook his head and reached over to untie Ienzo’s ankles. “This was all supposed to make you feel  _ good _ , not let you punish yourself with sex.” He leaned closer to wipe away the tears. “I’m so… I’m so  _ mad _ you let me do that without talking about it first.”

“You should be mad at me,” he said. 

Demyx ran a hand through his hair. “Why do you want to be in pain so badly?”

He shuddered. Demyx leaned over and took him into his arms. 

“Hating yourself isn’t going to fix anything,” he said firmly. “All that stuff that happened back then… you don’t  _ need _ to punish yourself for.”

“Why not?” he asked hoarsely. 

“Because… because you were lied to, Ienzo, and manipulated and gaslit. Doing what  _ he _ told you to was all you knew. How could you have done better?”

“Other kids did--”

“Other kids didn’t grow up like you.” His eyes glinted. “Look, you’re doing good now. You’re so much better. And that was your choice, to be better. Right? The first choice you could ever make, and that was it.”

He swallowed. “It wasn’t the first.”

“Then what was?”

“Choosing to be with you.”

He kissed him softly. “I’m so glad you did.”

“I want to… make a better world for us to be in.”

“Hurting yourself won’t do that.”

So slowly, Ienzo realized, “...I know.”

Demyx brushed the sweaty hair out of his face. “I’m sorry, but we have to take pain off the table until you heal.”

“...Probably for the best.” So strange, to be cared for. Even after all this time. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that without your consent.”

“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “Knowing you, you probably got carried away and spiraled.”

Ienzo nodded. He was exhausted now, and, well, still hard, all the overstimulation from earlier needing release. Demyx noticed this. He kissed him gently, and reached down to take Ienzo’s cock into his hand. 

“Relax,” he said. 

After all that, feeling pleasure was confusing, Ienzo tried to find the strength to give in, to let go.  _ Hating myself and hurting isn’t going to fix anything, _ he forced himself to think.  _ It won’t help me be better. _ Demyx tightened his grip. Ienzo jerked, finally,  _ finally _ letting himself cave. It was almost too intense, and he moaned. 

Demyx wiped off his hand. “Let me see your back.”

Ienzo rolled onto his other side. “How bad is it?” He saw this makeshift crop now, several strands of rawhide woven together.

“...Didn’t break the skin, but you’re all welty.”

“I bruise easily,” Ienzo said. Demyx hummed, and he knew he wasn’t  _ quite _ forgiven. Ienzo looked over just slightly.

“I don’t want to ever hurt you,” Demyx said. “Or let you hurt yourself.”

He sighed. “I bet you didn’t expect my Somebody to be like this.”

“I didn’t. But you’re… no less incredible. Feelings, vulnerability… they’re  _ good _ . Just makes me love my Zexy all the more.” He kissed his shoulder. “Don’t move.” Demyx went over to his bag, took out a potion and a clean handkerchief, and sat back down on the bed. He poured some of it onto the cloth and began to dab it on the welts; Ienzo sighed a little as the stinging eased. 

“How did you learn that?” Ienzo asked.

“Hm?”

“About vulnerability being good.”

He cocked his head. “If I didn’t start letting my real self out, I would’ve never gotten with you,” he said. “The lazy, idiot facade. And I realized… below it, I didn’t really know  _ who  _ I was. Finding that… makes you feel really naked, you know. But it’s given me good things. A second chance. You.”

Ienzo let out a long breath. “What  _ would _ I do without you?” he asked. “Demyx, I’m a goddamn mess.”

“But you’re my mess,” he said, continuing to dab. “All this? We get to work through together.”

“You make it sound like a good thing.”

“Isn’t it?” Demyx winked. “You, me, the world.”

“Et cetera.”

“Et cetera.” He kissed him once more and set aside the rag. “Better?”

He smiled. “Much.”


End file.
